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A friend of mine, in response to
a conversation we were having about the injustices of life, asked me the
question, "who said life was going to be fair, or that it was even meant to
be fair ?" Her question was a good one. It reminded me of something I was
taught as a youngster: Life isn't fair It's a bummer, but it's absolutely
true. Ironically, recognising this sobering fact can be a very liberating
insight.
One of the mistakes many of us
make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life
should be fair, or that someday it will be. It's not and it won't. When we
make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time wallowing and/or
complaining about what's wrong with life. We commiserate with others,
discussing the injustices of life. "It's not fair," we complain, not realising that, perhaps, it was never intended to be. One of the nice things
about surrendering to the fact that life isn't fair is that it keeps us from
feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the Very best we can
with what we have. We know it's not "life's job" to make everything perfect,
it's our own challenge. Surrendering to this fact also keeps us from feeling
sorry for others because we are reminded that everyone is dealt is different
hand, and everyone has unique strengths and challenges. This insight has
helped me to deal with the problems of raising two children, the difficult
decisions I've had to make about who to help and who I can't help, as well
as with my own personal struggles during those times that I have felt
victimised or unfairly treated. It almost always wakes me up to reality and
puts me back on track.
The fact that life isn't fair doesn't mean we
shouldn't do everything in our power to improve our own lives or the world
as a whole. To the contrary, it suggests that we should, When we don't
recognise or admit that life isn't fair, we tend to feel pity for others and
for ourselves. Pity, of course, is a self-defeating emotion that does
nothing for anyone, except to make everyone feel worse than they already do.
When we do recognise that life isn't fair, however, we feel compassion for
others and for ourselves. And compassion is a heartfelt emotion that
delivers loving-kindness to everyone it touches. The next time you find
yourself thinking about the injustices of the world, try reminding yourself
of this very basic fact. You may be surprised that it can nudge you out of
self-pity and into helpful action. |
