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Art Buchwald hasn't got his
wish yet. In February, the celebrated humorist checked into a Washington
hospice "to die with dignity"---his leg had been amputated, his kidneys were
failing and he had declined dialysis. He was expected to say good-bye to the
world in two or three weeks. But after nine weeks, he was still there. And
the longer he lived, the more attention he got and the happier he became.
His mantra was: I've put death on hold.
The hospice became his salon:
veteran anchor Walter Cronkite came as did Phil Donahue and CBS newsman Mike
Wallace, not to forget fellow humorist Dave Barry who was in town for a book
launch. French officials come to give him an award and to kiss him on both
cheeks. (He started in France in 1949.) The Commandant of the US Marine
Corps came by to thank him for his service in World War II. (Buchwald had
run away at 17 to join the marines after enduring, along with his three
older sisters, a series of foster homes.)
Then Buchwald resumed his
syndicated column and signed a book deal. In early July, he checked out and
returned to his summer home of 30 years on Martha's Vineyard, which he calls
'its own sort of heaven."
That's when the blogs began their mock severe
salute: "He's getting on my nerves, because he's turning a death sentence
into non-stop festivities," said one blog. "It's as if he's going through a
second childhood, soaking up all the love he missed as a waif in the Hebrew
orphan Asylum in New York and in foster homes."
While another blog preached
about a balanced diet and watching calories, Buchwald was busy wolfing down
calorie-laden junk and boasting to the world about it. The things he said
about exercise were said to be too awful to print!
While the rest of humanity
with 'certain sensitivities' was busy pussyfooting around the awesome
mystery and terror of death, expecting respect, hushed tones and teary eyes,
here was Buchwald, openly laughing and joking at a wake (planned to be held
in Carnegie Hall). Buchwald did say he believed in God but in the same
breath added that he did not know if there was a heaven or hell and had no
idea what was in store for him after he died. He said what counted were the
good deeds we did and was too modest to add, "And the smiles we brought to
people's faces on earth," because by that token, he was already in heaven. |
