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Bartruhari, the ancient
Sanskrit poet sums up the virtues of good friendship, Satsangati: " it
removes laziness, sprinkles truth, uplifts you, removes sins, pleases the
mind and spreads one's fame all over. Tell me what stasangati does not do
for man." Adi Shankaracharya in his Bhaja Govindam (Stanza 9) observes how
satsangati also helps one in developing the virtue of detachment leading to
consistency in one's approach and freedom from illusions. These, finally,
lead the aspirant on to emancipation.
True friends are available
not only during prosperity but also during hardships. The concept of "a
friend in need is a friend indeed" is illustrated by the story of two
friends who, journeying together, spotted a wild bear in their proximity.
One of them, who knew tree climbing, saved himself while the other was left
to gather his wits and lie down pretending dead. The bear sniffed at him and
went his way. The danger past, the one on the tree came down and enquired of
the other what the bear whispered to him to which, he received the reply:
"Do not trust a friend who deserts you when you need him most."
Loyalty and good intentions
in friendship nevertheless have to go with intelligence and wisdom too.
Often foolish friends can prove to be more dangerous than wise enemies. In
fact, in one of his letters to his son, Lord Chesterfield exhorts him to
seek company of those who are greater and above him, where "you would rise,
as much as you sink with people below you." He also notes how in the company
of Addison and Pope, he felt as if he was all the princes of Europe. He
also quotes the Spanish proverb, "Tell me whom you live with and I will tell
you who you are."
After cultivating and
developing worthwhile and loyal friends, whose "adoption has been tried," it
is necessary to "grapple them to they soul with hoops of steel"
(Shakespeare: Hamlet I,3). However such friends, precious though, are rare
and hard to come by. These are the rewards for an aspiring and yearning
soul, prayerfully toiling towards fulfillment and meaning in life. Thomas
Gray sums up this concept in these lines written in his Elegy Written In A
Country Churchyard, "He gained from heaven ('twas all he wished), a friend,"
Fortunate indeed is one who obtains such a rare and precious blessing. |
