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Get Out of Your Mind and Into
Your Life, is the title of of the best-seller co-authored by psychologist Steven Hayes with
Spencer Smith. Their first sentence "People suffer" underlines what most of
us deny or try to ignore: we all die. In stark contrast to the promoters of
positive psychology, Hayes argues that pain is ubiquitous and that suffering
is normal. The late psychologist is M Scott peck said something
similar ("Life is difficult") to an earlier generation with the best-
selling The Road Less Travelled. He in turn echoed what the Buddha said
("Life is painful").
What sets Hayes apart is his controversial
school of acceptance and commitment therapy called ACT, which is opposed to
a purely cognitive therapeutic approach.
Instead of trying to suppress or fight negative feelings, ACT
advises you to accept them as a part of life. This is because trying to
correct negativity actually intensifies it. Once you become willing to feel
your negative thoughts Hayes argues that you may find it easier to figure
out what life should actually be and how to get on with it.
According to Hayes part of the problem stems from western
obsession with feel- goodism. This could in turn be a side effect of the
preoccupation with technology and its gadgets and gizmos that make life
easier and less hassle some. To be fair, all this is meant to make you free
(albeit with the right brands and wellness gurus) to enable you to attain
Nirvana of feeling Good from morning to night.
The problem is, even with the biggest and best of apples, people
aren't just able to keep the doctors away. Depression and dysfunction still
ravage most advanced economies. This is because people generally confuse
happiness with feeling good. They also forget that there are lost of paths to
climb Mount Feel-Good. Some, such as getting stoned or dead drunk, or
engaging in serial sensual relationships, actually limit the range of
possibilities for living the way you would want to live your life. Hayes
maintains that this is not just a matter of semantics or redefining the
rules. It's about changing the game itself.
The natural game most of us are in is about' techniques of feeling
good ', about how to get that feel-good rush of dopamine whether from food,
sex or novelty. that's not the same as the 'art of living good', about how
to live the way you'd want to live in accordance with your values. So ACT!
Forget what you feel. |
